Men, watching 'Twilight' may be bad for your health

Posted Monday, November 28, 2011 at 4:21 PM Central
Last updated Monday, November 28, 2011 at 4:21 PM Central

by John Couture

It seems that Christmas has come early for men everywhere. The Hollywood Reporter is reporting that at least two separate men have experienced seizures while watching the stylistic birth scene in The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1.

Normally, I'm not one to jest over health issues, but thankfully both men recovered and well, this is the perfect excuse in getting out of your significant other's demand that you accompany her to the theater for the latest Twilight movie. And who knows, it might also work as an excuse to forgo the final film in the series.

And let's face it men, any excuse is better than being forced to watch the torture that is Twilight. I may lose my man card, but I actually watched the first two Twilight movies in theaters. Of course, I was so hammered that I don't recall a single fact other than despite being that drunk, I knew that I never wanted to watch a single frame from that franchise ever again.

According to medical experts, the repetitive images of black, white and red in the birth scene in which Edward uses his vampire fangs to conduct an impromptu Caesarian section birth might be triggering episodes of photosensitive epilepsy. I guess we should be thankful that they didn't hire Michael Bay to direct this installment.

So consider this your medical warning, that watching The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 may be harmful to your health. I'm not sure if your significant other will buy your argument, but if you are forced to go and happen to suffer a seizure, I'm pretty sure that's a get out of watching The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 free card if I ever heard of one.